Buffy Anne Summers

OOC note to everyone

2003-02-25T07:02:01Z

Hey... I know I've been slacky girl lately and I've been getting some emails about it...

but fact of the matter is... I'm a real girl, who is in the process of moving...

so until Thursday, my posts are going to be fairly scarce, I'm trying to keep up the best I can, but when you're moving 4 hours away, for the first time, it's difficult

so bare with me... n' I'll be back!

Your Resident Buffy

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-23T17:19:00

2003-02-23T22:23:41Z

Things haven't been so good around here...

Dawnies' gotten quite the little attitude, which doesn't help when all of the Potentials are fighting as well.

*sigh*

I think tonight... no wait, TONIGHT, I am calling a meeting, in my living room, I want ALL of the SIT's there... Dawn, I want you there too... 8pm.

Going to have a little talk, and after this little talk, I don't want ANY more fighting. We have to ban together, and concentrate on what is to come.

Banning together... it's not easy when one of your key players, doesn't even want to make eye contact with you. *coughspikecough*

Whatever... I think I'm going to make a huge dinner tonight, for EVERYONE... I know we don't need to get our minds off of things, but I think in a way, it'll be good to focus on something else... even if it is just food.

hmmm...

2003-02-21T19:21:26Z

I owe pretty much everyone an apology, huh...?

Look, I mess up... I'm really good at messing up... I know this... but Xander, please, get off your soapbox.

Look, I'm not even going to get into this right now... I apologize... I'm sorry. Whatever. But it's like I told Xander... you guys are either with me, or you're not. So we're either going to band together, or you all are going to continue to think I'm a complete jerk. Take your pick, I need to know, soon.

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-21T14:04:00

2003-02-21T19:08:06Z

Sorry guys, I know I've been all... not around..

Just been thinking about everything that happened... what I could have done to get power... ~~and wondering partially if i made the right decision.~~

I've been working too... which has been akward... but, I have to bring home the money somehow... especially since a certain blonde vampire decided to ruin my punching bag.

The girls have all been looking at me, almost like they want to train... but with everything with Chloe, and the portal... I don't know. Maybe tonight? What do you guys say? Go do some training? Who is up for it?

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-10T20:32:00

2003-02-11T01:38:18Z

*stretch and yawn*

Hey everyone... sorry I haven't updated in a while... I just, haven't had much to say. And I've been pretty busy with work and Spike (his dreams and the chip okay, that's all... get your mind out of the gutter) and the potentials... slaying.

You know... usual stuff.

Valentines Day is coming up. Half of the people I talk to are all mushy, and lovey dovey... and the other half are so annoyed by it, it's starting to annoy me all the more.

*mutters* stupid holiday

*clears throat*

ah yes, but anyway. Now, I'm thinkin'... movie and popcorn. Lazy Monday night. Who's in?

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-07T10:23:00

2003-02-07T15:27:42Z

My whole night was spent, trying to track down Riley, and the guys at the Initiative, to kick their ass. Plus many phone calls... everyone kept calling me to see if it was true. That they really dusted Spike.

~~and to think i actually cried~~

Ugh! They didn't even call me until 7am to tell me that Spike was okay. What the hell?! Spike is coming home TODAY. I don't care what I have to do... Agent Ross said that she'll release him this afternoon though.

So I called Wood this morning, and asked him if I could be late for work... there were some family issues, and I didn't get any sleep... he told me to "take the whole day" and that "i'll be missed"

huh?

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-06T12:06:00

2003-02-06T17:12:22Z

*raises an eyebrow*

Did I, or did I not say, that they would lose Angels' soul? Yes, that's what I thought.

This whole thing was a BAD IDEA in the first place.

Then again, I find myself thinking... why should I care...

Then I snap myself back to reality, and think... oh yes, one... having Angelus around, really not a good idea. two... the end of the world stuff... ya know... *rolls eyes* and three... no matter what... it's ANGEL.

As for stuff in good ole Sunnydale... Spike is still... well, not with it. It's been made perfectly clear to me, how much Riley doesn't like Spike, and how he'd much rather see him dead, but that's beyond the point. Just thought I'd point out that YES, I do realize that.

Willow is talking to us some more... which is good...

The students I've mainly had this week have been all with the "I want to ask him/her out for Valentines Day, but don't know how"

*looks around* since when did I become the poster child for good relationships?

ah yes... just so

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-05T12:05:00

2003-02-05T17:19:24Z

I made a decision... it wasn't an easy one... but, it's a decision... and I think it's the right one...

Wood has been acting, weird, lately. Making eyes? Kind of like Jonathan, after the clocktower, before prom?

I'm worried about Willow... she's really upset about all of this... but it wasn't her fault... Amy Madison... I should kick her.... nevermind.

Still trying to get over this cold... would have been nice to stay home today, but since I missed enough work when I wasn't really sick... here I am... so if anyone needs me... gimme a call.

just a quick update

2003-02-04T23:20:35Z

Giles is taking the SIT's on a retreat...

They're not too happy about it... but hey, I get the bathroom to myself *smiles*

All will be fine... everyone is freaking out because it's Tuesday... yeah, it's Tuesday, we'll face things, like we do every week, and we'll get thru it.

I'm still at the school, I really should get home... from what I hear, Spike isn't doing too well... chip stuff.

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-03T14:22:00

2003-02-03T19:29:20Z

I'd update more, if I had more to say. I've just been working, and listening to the girls while about the "strict" schedule I'm keeping them on. Hey, if it makes you feel ANY better... I've been training more than usual too.

::EDITED:: As for ~~Cole~~, Holden, you can take your apology, and well... since there are young people who read this, I'll keep it decent... and just say, apology not accepted.

Everyone has issues, it's just how you handle them.

Anyway... seeing Pike was awesome... I wish we would have had more time, and a better weekend... but he looks great... still the same ol' Pike, causin' trouble... but hey, *smiles*, that's okay.

I have this feeling... it's not a good one. Maybe I just need to talk to Giles, since it's dealing with him? Hmmm... I'm out of work in a little bit... I think I'm going to go for a run when I get home... anyone wanna go?

buffy_anne @ 2003-02-01T22:35:00

2003-02-02T03:36:33Z

Sorry I haven't updated much...
and sorry that this isn't going to be much of a post..
I guess I'm just letting you all know that I'm around, alive, and things are well for now in Sunnydale.

Pike is here. And we're all just kind of sitting around in shock, about Columbia...

*shrugs* I have journals to catch up on. If anything really important happened, let me know, it's been a long couple of days.

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-30T14:05:00

2003-01-30T19:14:01Z

I didn't even bother trying to sleep last night.
Went out on patrol, without the girls for a bit...
think I just needed to get out some aggression.

Sunnydale has been quiet, which is rare...
and I almost feel like I need to go to LA
just to BELIEVE it.

But, I won't... I can't. I have my duties here..
I told Lorne that if I was needed there, to get a
hold of me, and I'd be there...

I wish I could say that I don't think it'll get to
that point... but knowing Angelus...

It will.

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-29T22:21:00

2003-01-30T03:24:16Z

I can't believe they de-souled him

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-29T17:42:00

2003-01-29T22:42:50Z

One of "MY" students showed me these today... I asked her if I could use them, to put in my LJ, she didn't have a problem...

Just read them, and think about them.

I am the dire Angel.
The one who fell from the stars.
Into the cortex of the mortal realm.
But I did not stop,
my judgement did.
Not that created by the one.
Not that let live the humans
Not that llights the darkness
I knew this world,
now be home.
I was to be one with this creation.
A creation that was my own.
It burned with a rage and a fury
Flaming my skin to ashes
giving me form.
I was the shadow, I was the demon.
And this is my kingdom.

Darkness that surrounds me
Imprisons me, Impounds me
Comes swiftly on wings

Verbal incossistancies
Retributal urges
Comes after me

Darkness has come to me
Since the day that door has been shut
Forever to be closed

for it was closed by you
the day you walked out it
Never to be seen again from

The silence that comes with the darkness
the loudness that is the silence
burns my ears

Memories of our past
Comes to me through imagry of my mind
Of us at one time

Happy and in love
Love to now despise
That has brought me to this demise..

Not understanding...
Completely in panic
Of the darkness that has surrounded me.

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-29T14:50:00

2003-01-29T19:53:21Z

I keep seeing his eyes...

it's like a flashback...

*shakes head*

and no matter what I do, I can't get it out of my head. It was almost prophetic...

It's just that stare...cold and calculating... but it was ANGEL... it wasn't Angelus... *sigh* I don't get it...

Or maybe I just wanted it to be Angel...

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-29T11:36:00

2003-01-29T16:38:23Z

Looks like the quiet night in Sunnydale turned out to be
not so quiet.

Dreams were handed out like candy to all the unsuspecting
people.

Spike dreamed of as far as I can tell, Faith, and vice versa. I dreamed of Angel. I almost feel the need to go to LA if my duties here weren't so important...

*sigh* I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I really can't concentrate on work...

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-28T12:34:00

2003-01-28T17:39:46Z

I still can't believe Spike did that...
I said I'd pay Xander back... he could have left it at that.

Speaking of Xander... I love you Xand, but this is my journal, and I do need to vent.

Spike and I... I don't really know what's going on there... but what I do know, is that I'm not going to get hurt, and that I'm a big girl...

I know all of you who say I should back off or something *coughxandcough* just care... and are just trying to help, but you have to let me live my life... we have all made some major mistakes in our lives... but we all have done amazingly good things, to make up for it...

Well I mean there are the acceptions... but still...

*shakes head* I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm so much better with power speeches... I just know that, I can handle myself...

I'm thinking about taking the girls out, tonight. Patrol... a few lessons or so. Maybe I'll take Dawn too... she may not be a potential.. but she's a Summers, she can hold her own. And with Amanda on board now, I think it would be good to get her in the swing of things...

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-27T12:19:00

2003-01-27T17:21:18Z

Okay, okay... people...
I know I left out meeting Will and Xand
and Faith, and Kendra, and Riley
and Spike falling in love with me
and our first kiss
and the SIT's...

I'm blonde, I'm not completely dense.. it was JUST a
minor recap!

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-27T11:51:00

2003-01-27T17:00:14Z

Like Spike said, we got back late last night...
late enough that I pretty much, got home, showered,
grabbed something to eat... sat around for a little bit
and then came to work.

Which is okay, I slept so much this weekend. I didn't know
it was humanly possible to sleep that much.

I do know that Spikes chip was messing up a little bit
this weekend, he failed to tell me, but I'm not stupid.
I can tell when a metal piece in his head is malfunctioning.

I can't believe Pike got a hold of me (well, he did, in a sense) I haven't talked to him in... years. Apparently
people have caught him up on my Sunnydale life though, so
hey, that just means I don't have to talk about me.

I personally think it sums up well...
Moved here
Died.
Came back.
Fell in love with Angel.
Killed Angel.
Angel came back.
(Repressed Memories of Faith)
Blew up the school.
Angel Left.
Went to UCSD.
Met Riley.
Dawn moved here. (well ya know)
Fell for Riley.
(more repressed Faith memories)
Mom got sick.
(I guess I met Glory and her alter ego here)
Mom got better.
Met Glory.
Riley left.
Mom died.
Glory died. (well, ya know)
I died.
I came back.
I sang a lot.
Giles left.
Spike and I had sex.
Warren shot me.
I fought Willow.
TFE appeared.

Well that's just what happened to me, and not really to all the people I love around me. But hey, not bad for a 23 year old, huh?

Principal Wood wants to talk to me... why does that bother me
like it did when I was actually IN school?

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-24T11:34:00

2003-01-24T16:37:23Z

Well, as Spike already said, we're going to go away for the weekend.

Now, don't give me that look that I know you're giving me. It's all cause we BOTH need to just get away.

My only worry, something will come up this weekend, but, Xand, and Willow, Dawn... they'll be around, and with the potentials... they should be able to handle anything that comes their way.

*blushes and smiles*
I'm really looking forward to this.

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-21T22:26:00

2003-01-22T03:40:57Z

Tuesday night, and we're all still in one piece...
surprised?

I'm not.

~~okay so that's a tiny lie~~

I'm really proud of the girls, they're comin' along well... and Amanda, I always had a feeling about her... I just, didn't realize she was a potential.

I was a little worried... locking them in the nest, with the vampire... I knew they'd pull thru though. When we shut the door, I just kind of looked at Spike, and he had this look in his eyes... like he was telling me not to worry... next thing I know, I hear screams... joyful screams... *smiles* I'm definitely proud.

And to set the record straight... there were no fluffy puppy eyes... and when I said that Spikes' crypt was comfy, I just meant, more... homey than most crypts...

I am a little worried about those ribs though Spike...

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-21T13:55:00

2003-01-21T19:16:52Z

*lays her head down on the desk in her cubicle*

Ow..

You'd think I'd learn... each time I do something STUPID like that, I say "Buffy, you're never gunna drink again" and what do I do? I drink again...

It's just... I wanted to drown out these feelings I've been having about today... the feeling that something really BAD is going to happen. Yeah sure, I'm the Slayer, but I just needed a break.

Things weren't supposed to turn out the way they did last night, either. I owe Spike a huge apology...

And Faith... were we... bonding? *raises an eyebrow*

Hmm, students walking in, I should go... color me annoyed

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-20T13:34:00

2003-01-20T18:35:14Z

*kicks lj*
it lets me go like a month without realizing that i haven't updated my paid account, then finally when I have the cutest icon, it's all

YOU CAN'T DO IT!

gotta scrounge up $5!

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-20T11:29:00

2003-01-20T16:35:02Z

So here I am, back at work. Have a free second, so I thought I'd mention, that I found the ONE good thing about getting up at 6am.

You get a hot shower.

Principal Wood seemed fairly happy to have me back to work, I've already talked to about 7 kids.

I had a dream last night, slayer prophetic type dream, and both fortunately and unfortunately I don't remember much of it, but I DO know that something BIG is going down with the First... and it's going to happen soon. So I just think everyone should be as prepared as possible. I'm remembering part of my dream... it had to do with Spike... the SIT's... Dawn... and Willow doi...

I have a student, I gotta go... just, everyone, be careful.

buffy_anne @ 2003-01-19T23:24:00

2003-01-20T04:29:12Z

Interesting day...

Spike and I had a little conversation at the Bronze this afternoon...

Spike: I'm not sure how to broach it, really.
* Buffy looks at you
Buffy: Spike, it's just me...
Spike: You've been having... bad memories...
* Buffy looks away and cringes a little
Buffy: yeah... those... I don't know, I think it's just... I've been over thinking...
* Spike laughs ruefully
Spike: I'm well acquainted with that problem.
* Buffy stares down at the bar
Buffy: you know... I don't know what happened that night... with you, and why you did it... but I do know... that's not who you are now...
Spike: It isn't. I can assure you, it really isn't who I am. It isn't even really who I was, either... I was just... God... do you know how quickly I realised how wrong it was? That's what made me understand... I had to DO something, had to stop being capable of...
* Spike whispers, "I don't want to be a monster..."
* Buffy still staring at the bar, whispers, "you're not..."
* Spike feels a small lump in his throat
Buffy: I keep trying to tell myself... that I have to stop thinking...
* Buffy slowly looks at you
Buffy: because if I keep over analyzing...
Spike: Buffy...
* Buffy resists the urge to look away
Spike: Don't think, pet.
* Spike gently cups your chin in his hand, keeps you looking at him
* Buffy closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath
* Spike tilts his head a little closer
* Buffy opens her eyes a little
* Buffy whispers, "Spike..."
Spike: Yes?
Buffy: I...I...
* Buffy shakes her head
* Buffy pulls away
* Spike clears his throat and sits up straighter
Spike: Did you get all filled in on the goings-on in your absence, though, slayer?
Buffy: Humm, yeah for the most part, I was kept updated well, and caught up with people when I got back...
* Buffy sighs
Buffy: I just... nothing works anymore
Spike: Think Harris fixed the WCs, that's a spot of good news, right?
* Buffy smiles
Spike: Might want to avoid the upstairs one for a spell, though.
* Buffy rolls her eyes and laughs
Spike: Will's got her research hat on, and Andrew's action figures are all "dead." That last one makes ME quite pleased.
* Buffy laughs
Buffy: not surprised
Spike: That lad is developing quite an unhealthy fixation on me.
* Buffy raises an eyebrow
Buffy: Oh hey Spike...?
Spike: Yes, luv?
* Buffy reaches over and touches your face before leaning in and whispering "I really missed you"
Spike: Missed you, too, slayer. Quite a lot. I hope you don't mind... but I rather spent most nights you were gone in your room.
Buffy: I don't mind, at all... probably better for you to be somewhere other than the basement...
* Spike mumbles, "Did spend a little time in the basement, too..."
* Buffy looks deep in your eyes
Spike: Does it hurt you if I keep telling you that I love you? I don't... I don't expect anything, really, I don't.

and the rest? well, really, that's for US to know...